Study: Baseball Moms Are More Desirable Than Lacrosse Moms

New York, N.Y.--Researchers from Columbia University have found that men consider mothers of baseball players more attractive overall than mothers of lacrosse players.

The study, which appears in the medical journal Lancet, is based on a 10-point desirability scale. Researchers asked men to view photos of women in summer clothing and rate them across four categories: physical appearance, expected personality, likelihood of marrying for love rather than money, and likelihood of offering you an ice-cold vodka drink in a plastic sippy cup at 1:00pm on a Sunday in July.

The women identified as mothers of baseball players ranked highest in the personality and vodka categories, defeating the typical lacrosse mother by an average score of 9.1 to 4.6. They also were expected to marry for love more than for money, unlike gold-digging lax moms.

Lacrosse mothers ranked higher in physical attractiveness, not only because they spend more time on their appearance but also because they watch games sitting inside their luxury SUVs to preserve their pasty, Botoxed skin.

A related study published in the American Journal of Psychology found that lacrosse mothers are more likely than a control group to be named Sloane, to mistreat landscaping contractors and to end a phone conversation with the word “ta.”

Kevin Caraway, a father of two baseball players and a softball player, wasn’t surprised by the results of the studies.

“Lacrosse moms just seem real stuck up and snooty,” he said. “I like a gal who tells dirty jokes, snorts when she laughs, and isn’t afraid to heckle an umpire even before she gets day drunk.”--SB!